As promised yesterday, here is a list of what you can do for someone who has a chronically ill child or a child with a long hospitalization.Most of this list was derived from what people did for me and our family. Some things cost nothing, some are expensive, some take a little time, some take a lot, figure out what you are willing to do/give and go from there.

• pray, for them and with them

• clean their house, yes I mean scrub the toilets, or pay for and send over a cleaning company

• bring a meal, or a milkshake, or muchies

• mow the grass

• get an ipod, load it with their favorite music, kids music, instrumentals for sleep time, inspirational messages

• go visit, don’t expect to be entertained, or even talked to but go and sit, hold the child, hold the parent, just be there

• organize a fund raiser, but don’t let them know about it

• send care packages

• bring an area rug to put on the floor in the hospital room for play time

• maintenance at their home, power washing, planting flowers, trimming shrubs

• take mom for a haircut (or bring someone to the hospital to do it there), manicure, pedicure, etc

• if appropriate, bring playmates to visit

• bring sidewalk chalk, bubbles, Wii, books, toys, videos, art/craft supplies

• make a hospital survival kit for parents: ear plugs, eye mask, fleece blanket, snacks, pillow, toiletries

• do laundry

• pick up things from their home and bring to them

• help them do research

• find out about local resources

• bring an air mattress to them

• help with other children

• make a photo collage for the child of their family and friends to hang in the room or on the bed

• decorate the hospital room

• give them gift cards for the cafeteria or restaurants close by

• send them a card

• bring fresh flowers

• pray

We were so blessed by friends, family, even strangers who carried us through. Let me share an example, though all of the above are examples, this is priceless. Our youngest (15 months) had been in the hospital locally for 10 weeks, we were about to fly from NC to PA for a more specialized hospital and our oldest was about to turn 3. My dear friends handled the birthday party, suggested a location, made party favors, made invitations, bought supplies, picked up the cake, sat with the one in the hospital so we could all attend, brought the food, EVERY detail was handled. I still cry when I think about how my friends made that birthday party possible, and wonderful.

Please don’t send a text message, email or voicemail to say “hey, I  am thinking about you”, go and do something.

If you have other ideas, please post them and I will compile them.